Trying to look on the bright side!

After I had my chemical pregnancy a few friends told me that they (or) someone they knew who also had a chemical got pregnant quickly after. Supposedly you are more fertile after a miscarriage - who knows, I really haven't looked into it. I'm just hoping that when it's meant to be, it will happen.
With that being said - I don't even know when to expect my period. One of my friends told me it took her 103 days before hers came. She was further along than I was, so I'm not sure if that plays a role or not. Again, I'm trying not to stress too much! I don't feel pregnant...so I guess I'm just going to wait and listen to my body and THEN test. Before with my chemical I didn't have any symptoms besides feeling like I needed to potty more often. Maybe I would have never found out if I wasn't such an early tester? If I were to get pregnant soon my due date month would be November, which I'm okay with. I really really REALLY wanted a September baby (always have, don't know why - just did). But it's just a month, who cares!

4 weeks from tomorrow and we'll be heading off to Reno! I'm super excited to visit my in-laws. A lot of people talk about how they don't like their in-laws and can't stand them but I love mine! I feel so lucky and blessed that we all get along so well. And we all have so much fun together. They are wonderful grandparents to Logan. It makes me so happy. The only thing that would make it better is if we all lived closer to each other. We really don't live THAT far away (10-12 hour drive). It could be a lot worse.

Let down on so many levels...

Last weekend the three of us went to Newport beach and stayed 2 nights. The drive down was fine but once we got there nothing went as planned. Logan broke his sound machine, our hotel had stairs, and the layout was all funky. Luckily there was a WalMart close by and James went and picked up a new sound machine (that was terrible and we returned it on our way back home). Logan was such a handful during the whole trip. Okay, I shouldn't say the WHOLE trip...but about 95% of it. I wonder if his behavior is normal or if something is wrong with him or if WE are doing something wrong as parents. I'm going to look into some books and try and read up on his behaviors.

Saturday morning we went down and visited the Historic Newport harbor, that was pretty fun. We saw the sea lions, looked in shops, and ate lunch. When we got back to our hotel Logan would not take a nap even though he was tired. So we decided to go to the swimming pool. That was probably the funnest part of our trip :) Logan loved going swimming and was so happy! After that we hung out at the hotel for a little while longer and then decided to drive the 30-45 minutes to Lincoln City to look around at the outlet stores. Logan slept the whole way there - and he was not happy when we arrived and he had to be woken up. He was screaming and crying the whole time we were trying to shop. He didn't want to ride in the stroller, he didn't want to be carried...he wanted to walk and run around everywhere and we had to chase him. After the stores we drove back down to Depoe Bay to meet up with Eric, Joanne, & Dylan for dinner at Gracie's. They finally arrived close to 7:00pm (we were there around 6:30 and fed Logan right away). The whole time in the restaurant Logan cried and screamed and didn't want to stay in his seat. EVEN THOUGH we let him sit in a big boy chair and not a highchair. We got back to the hotel close to 9:00pm. After the boys went to sleep we played Yahtzee and watched Forgetting Sarah Marshall. That was fun and stress free times!

Sunday morning we all got up, James and I cooked breakfast and then we all got ready and checked out. We went to visit the Oregon Coast Aquarium. It was okay, but not worth the price they charge for admission. Which reminds me I need to write them an e-mail telling them how unhappy I am about our trip there. The kids seemed to like it but it wasn't that great for us adults. After the aquarium we decided it was time to head back home. Logan slept from Newport to Lincoln City and we made a quick stop at McDonalds for some lunch. He wouldn't sleep anymore on the way home and just wanted to cry and scream. When we got home I had lots of laundry to do and unpacking. James and I were in bed by 8:30 that night...what a weekend!

Yesterday was Valentine's Day. James got me my favorite salted caramels and some other goodies. I feel bad I didn't get him anything :( He got a Ninja Turtles shirt today so maybe that can be a late happy v day gift!
I was feeling a little sad yesterday...yesterday was the day I was planning on announcing that I was pregnant. I would be 9 weeks now...and I'm not even close to being pregnant right now. It just sucks...I know how one of my friend's feels when you've been trying and trying and your friends just keep getting pregnant before you. This is month 7 now of trying...I really hope our time comes soon. I went through a bunch of Logan's old baby clothes today. There's a lady at my work whose pregnant with a boy and she wants used clothing for her child...so I thought I would give him some of Logan's stuff that maybe wasn't my favorite. Looking through all his clothes made me realize how much I want another baby - and a boy! I'd feel so sad if I wasn't able to reuse all his cute clothes again. There are some outfits that I can't bare to get rid of...EVER! Even if we have a girl (which I will love just the same as a boy). I will save the outfits forever because they hold such sweet memories.

Something else is going on now that's really bothering me. I'm not sure who reads this (if anyone) but I don't want to post names or anything. I just feel so let down and just terrible. I can only fake being happy for so long...